Since the divorce I am trying to figure out where I fit. While married to David, an ordained minister, Worship Pastor for almost 31 years finding where I fit came easy. I always knew I would be serving alongside of him at whatever church God had called him to serve. In our marital life we had two huge moves (from Florida to Macon, Ga and then from Macon, Ga to Grayson,Ga) that changed the trajectory of both of our lives separately and together in many ways. Our latest place of service was a small church in the town that we lived in. I knew my place. I served along side of him. I sang in the choir and rotated teaching a women's class. And then the rug was pulled out from me and then where do I go? Where does a Pastor's wife go to church when she can't go to church? Of course I "could have" went but it would have been painfully awkward, as you can imagine. For the first time in my life I am no longer linked to his ministry. For the first time in my life I am praying for my own ministry to rise up and to give birth to something beautiful. I know my spiritual gifts. I am well acquainted with the Beloved. I am trusting Him to lead me, as my new husband. (Isaiah 54:5) I willingly submit to His way. It will be good. It will be satisfying. It will fortify me and others. I will be giving birth out of my pain, but it's okay. He's worth it.
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