Friday, March 27, 2020

Divorce Sucks!

I have never experienced such pain.  Ever.  In the Word where God says that the two shall become one, well that is very real.  When my divorce was happening I literally "felt" the ripping apart of the two of us.  I felt as though a piece of me was going to be missing forever.  I felt as though my next heartbeat would be missed because we (David and I) had been knit so tightly, for so long.  How do I function without him?  We'd dated 7 years off and on prior to marrying.  We were married almost 31 years.  That is a LONG time.  Not only did I depend on him (for what I see now, as way too much) but I leaned on him.  He was my other half.  His weaknesses were my strengths, and my strengths were his weaknesses.  And it worked.  Until it didn't.  I am probably an anomaly, but I loved just about everything about being married.  I loved waking up to him every day.  I loved our conversations.  I loved sharing my dreams with him.  I loved cooking his meals.  I enjoyed serving him as unto the Lord.  I enjoyed putting him first (most times).  I loved traveling with him.  I loved discovering new things about him.  I loved discovering new things about myself with him.  I loved creating children with him.  I absolutely did.  I poured everything I had into our marriage.  And it worked.  Until it didn't.  I discovered that I wasn't what he wanted.  He was on a different path.  And The Lord allowed me to say, like the hymn, "It Is Well With My Soul."  Not that it was well, but God allowed me to sing outloud, "When peace like a river, attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul." And as I sang, peace flooded my soul.  I sat in peace.  I sat in my Dad's lap.  He held me tight.  I cried.  He collected my tears.

No comments:

Post a Comment